


Achilles Heel

by zaynscheekbones



Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: GTOP, M/M, basically 2k words of jiyong being in love w/ seunghyun, i wrote this like a year? ago and only just got round to editing it/liking it, or short and shit, pre-debut gtop, short and sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2017-02-21
Packaged: 2018-09-26 03:05:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9859295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zaynscheekbones/pseuds/zaynscheekbones
Summary: Jiyong has one weakness.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to Kwon Jiyong, the captain of our ship.

The first time they kiss he has to stand on his toes. Years of ballet gave him strong arches, but not even they can hold out for as long as he wants them to. The first time they stop kissing is because his feet grow tired, slowly lowering the soles of his shoes back onto the ground and untwining his hands from Seunghyun’s hair.

 

Puffy lips from kissing meet his eye line. Their height difference isn’t too bad, he thinks. It was perfect; flakes of snow slowly falling down around them by the Han River. They walked back to the dorms through the sketchy neighbourhoods, Seunghyun’s hand keeping his warm.

 

Their second kiss is less perfect, and Jiyong can still taste the bile in his mouth after trying his first shot of soju. _Self-possessed_ ; people called him. He never cared much for impressing people. That is until Seunghyun brought his older friends over, and Jiyong had never felt more like a child tagging along.

 

So he necks back a shot, feeling immediate regret as the contents of his stomach rush back up. The smell of smoke in the dorm makes his head hurt as he hangs over the toilet. Seunghyun, drunk out of his mind, doesn’t seem to care. This time he bends down, saving Jiyong’s poor tendons, and they don’t come back up for air until Seunghyun complains of an ache in his neck.

 

Jiyong buys him a neck massager for Christmas that year. 

 

 

 

 

Puberty never hits him like it does Seunghyun, something which probably would have affected him more had Seunghyun not been _so damn in love with him._ He knows the others all struggled with their appearances, but the way his hyung looked at him like he held his heart in his palms was enough to silence the voice at the back of Jiyong’s head.

 

(He also knows that tying your self esteem to what other people think of you is never a good idea.)

 

(But he’ll cross that bridge when he needs to.)

 

When they’re lying in bed, hoodies keeping the cold away and one ear watching out for the others’ movements around the dorm, that all seems to fall away. The world could be crashing down around them but Jiyong would still be content to lie there, watching the rise and fall of his hyung’s chest.

 

After the first time he shaves (he doesn’t really need to) he walks back into the room, spots of blood on his cheeks from tiny cuts. Their third kiss comes as Seunghyun daps at the cuts with sudofed, brows furrowed in concern. It’s enough of an excuse for Jiyong to fall asleep in Seunghyun’s bed, taking big spoon and waking up with a dead arm and Seunghyun’s drool on his t-shirt.

 

“I slept funny.” He’ll say to their trainers the next morning, when asked why his body wont move the way they want it to.

 

Seunghyun will offer a small smirk, and Jiyong wont be able to focus for the rest of practice for the thought of those lips on his collar bone. 

 

The fourth time they kiss starts at said collar bone, then gradually makes it’s way south until Jiyong is panting heavily. T-shirt ridden up his flat stomach, ribs jutting out underneath his skin. Seunghyun kisses each one of them.

 

 

 

 

Fifth and sixth happen in a stairwell in the trainee building. It quickly becomes his favourite place to kiss; dark and private but offering just enough risk to get him hot under the collar, as he stands on a step above Seunghyun and their lips align perfectly. They’ll leave with red lips, indents on Jiyong’s waist and scratch marks along Seunghyun’s neck.

 

One time it’s with a love bite, in a calculated position that Seunghyun can’t cover up with a scarf or a jumper. Jiyong never intended to get jealous; he was always an easy going kid. But he feels a part of him changing every time he’s with Seunghyun.

 

“There’s a lot of things that only matter to me now because of you.” Jiyong will whisper one night, when he thinks he understands what love is because he’s older now. Seunghyun will ask him to name them, but Jiyong can’t even name one. If he’s honest he can’t remember what he was like before Seunghyun walked in.

 

It’s a noticeable shift. One that is seen by everyone around him, from Dami to Yang Hyun-Suk.

 

No one says it’s a bad difference, but it’s there. He’s weaker, now. No longer the kid with nothing to lose, the kid who would turn up to practice at SM everyday despite backhand comments of his wonky teeth and small eyes. Now half of his thoughts are irrational, and he knows that for all of his determination to make it into music there’s only one thing he could never live without.

 

Comes with the territory of love, his young self thinks.

 

 

 

 

Seunghyun gives him his first ever cigarette. He gets frustrated when Jiyong fails to inhale it correctly, places his lips on Jiyong’s own and whispers;

 

“ _Here, I’ll show you.”_

Seventh.

 

The cigarette burns down to the butt between Jiyong’s fingers. He only notices the marks on his hand once Seunghyun pulls away, only feels the pain when his hyung walks back inside. In quick succession he’s also walking through the door. Where he was once independent he’s become entirely dependent.

 

He’s never been addicted to anything but it must feel something like this, like there’s always something missing without Seunghyun’s lips on his skin or his hot breath in his ear. Slowly nicotine will become his vice, and he’ll realise that what he feels for Seunghyun is altogether different. For now, though, it’s a good way to describe it.

 

For the most of it, they _know_ they should stop. Know how threatening it is, not only to their careers. But if the suggestion ever comes to either of their lips it is soon stifled with a kiss, with exploring tongues and roaming hands.

 

 

 

 

 

Suspended in the training system for the best part of a decade, his career is out of his control. Step into his room, though, and you have a very carefully controlled ecosystem. Some would say bordering on OCD, he would say _controlled._ Where he can exercise control in his life, he will.

 

That was until he met Seunghyun, who’s so unpredictable, so erratic, that Jiyong has no choice but to throw up his arms and abandon ship. He has no control over his feelings towards the other boy, either.

 

He never thought he would, but he _loves_ it.

 

Loves the way his heart races when Seunghyun walks into the room, the way he can’t help but stop breathing when they touch, even if it’s just the most casual brush through clothing.

 

As their debut looms nearer and nearer they spend more time together in the studio, and the small room does nothing to ease his feelings for his hyung. Most of the time he’s focused, to the point that the others start to fear him. The rest of the time though he’s imagining pressing his hyung up against the dials on the sound board, watching pretty buttons light up as he presses kisses after kisses into Seunghyun’s skin. 

 

 _“We shouldn’t be doing this.”_ Seunghyun will whisper when they finally have the studio to themselves. When he  finally has his hyung pressed against the dials on the sound board, watching pretty buttons light up as he presses kisses after kisses into Seunghyun’s skin. Eighth, ninth, tenth. Then Teddy’s walking in and they’re breaking apart at the speed of light.

 

 _“I’m so sorry,”_ Jiyong will whisper as they’re drawn back together again like magnets. Thin fingers working at the buttons on the older boy’s shirt. “ _But I love you.”_

Seunghyun will push him off, gently. But Jiyong will feel the strength behind those hands.

 

That’s the first time he makes him cry.

 

Their eleventh kiss comes when Jiyong’s face is still wet from tears. When there’s a cigarette that he stole from Seunghyun in his hand and a pile of crumpled tissues next to his bed. He hasn’t cried in years, and it’s almost as if his body is making up for that fact. His hyung’s body makes the springs creak, and only then does Jiyong look up to meet his eyes. 

 

That’s the first time Seunghyun says sorry, and it wont be the last. But Jiyong will come to find that every apology is peppered with kisses.

 

That he doesn’t mind one bit.

 

 

 

 

 

The first time Jiyong takes Seunghyun’s hoody is purely for practical reasons. He’s cold, and it just so happens that Seunghyun’s favourite hoody is the closest thing to him, sprawled on the floor where his hyung left it before clambering into bed with him. If there’s one sure-fire benefit of being half the size of his hyung, it’s that any clothes he borrows (in the loosest sense of the word) dwarf him. It annoys Seunghyun to no end, annoys him that he can’t do the same with Jiyong’s hoodies. But mostly it’s the extra bit of fabric that annoys him, the one more barrier between his lips and Jiyong’s skin. When he realises this about Seunghyun, he makes a point to wrap up in as many layers as possible. Teasing his hyung and watching him slowly work his hands under hoodies and jumpers.

 

When Jiyong starts wearing rings, everything changes. As soon as he buys them they disappear, only to be found a few days later on Seunghyun’s fingers.  Seunghyun’s smug grin when Jiyong sees them might annoy him, but he comes to accept that they look better on his hyung’s hands anyway (especially when those hands are roaming over his body, gripping his waist and running through his hair).

 

With that comes the twelfth, thirteenth, fourteenth, fifteenth and sixteenth kisses. One for each finger on Seunghyun’s left hand (a hand that in years to come will have a very different ring on it (Jiyong gives him lots of kisses for that one)).

“You let him get away with everything.” Little Seunghyun says one day. Youngbae scolds him for whining so much, but they all know it’s true. Their hyung would get away with bloody murder if Jiyong were the detective.

 

If only they knew just how much he lets Seunghyun get away with, though. Like the way he steals the covers at night or littering dark hickeys on Jiyong’s skin that concealer wont cover up.

 

Or the way that’s he made Jiyong fall deeply, irrevocably and undeniably in love with him.

 

The last one is particularly rude.

 

 

 

 

Seventeenth and eighteenth come after Seunghyun meets his parents. He’s met them before, growing up on the same block will do that. But this time he’s _meeting_ them.

 

“It’s just a phase.” He hears his mum whisper to his dad when she thinks they’re out of earshot. Seunghyun has a face that says _I would go to war for you,_ and Jiyong smashes his lips onto Seunghyun’s to stop him damaging his relationship with his parents forever.

 

Somehow Yang gets wind of what they’re up to, repeats the words his mum said.

 

He used to never understand why Icarus flew too close to the sun. _Where was his common sense?_ He remembers asking his teacher in year 6. Now he gets it; when they’re pressed up against each other in closets, sneaking out of each others’ bedrooms in the mornings before anyone else wakes up.  He would walk through a burning building for Seunghyun.

 

Nineteenth and twentieth come soon after the conversation with their boss. Jiyong looses track after that.


End file.
